Submitted by The Amazing Zondo
When PPW announced that The Upper Echelon’s New Recruit David Weston would be joining forces with The Amazing Zondo to face Michigan Legends Tenshi & Gideon Malice, fans didn’t know what to think. PPW’s inbox was flooded with questions as to why such a match would be made. The Amazing Zondo’s parents were very concerned and worried for his safety. Fans commenting on social media said that Malice “takes bigger dumps than these guys.” Honestly, who takes dumps like that? But I digress…Going into the match, the anticipation was at an all time low. On paper this match was a dumpster fire.
The backstory to this match is more than meets the eye. You see, THE Amazing Zondo contacted PPW to request a match with Gideon Malice. It was Zondo’s 25th birthday and for his birthday Zondo wanted one thing. To become a household name in Michigan. The wise and all knowing Zondo knew the best way to make Zondo a household name in Michigan would be to challenge and defeat the man who holds the record for being the longest reigning Michigan State Heavyweight Champion in history. The way Zondo saw it, a win over Malice would make him just as recognizable in Michigan as Faygo soda, bad roads, hillbillies and Better Made Potato Chips.
The Amazing and Super Awesome Zondo was thrown a curveball after his big request. Representatives of Malice informed Big Z that he was currently focused on taking matches with his tag team partner Tenshi and if Zondo wanted a match he would have to get a partner. But you must all remember that Zondo hails out of Left Field and he hits curve balls all day. Zondo agreed to find a partner. The search for a new BFF was on. After all, why wouldn’t there be hundreds of wrestlers lining up to team with The Amazing Zondo?
Zondo was wrong. Zondo couldn’t find anyone who wanted to be his tag team partner. Zondo was sad. It appeared that half of the roster was still recovering from the last time they had to face the Warrior’s Way and they were not in a hurry to get beat up once again. Just when Zondo was about to give up hope, like a beautiful plump purple angel, Jack Kelly and his Upper Echelon angels appeared. The kind and caring Jack Kelly asked what was wrong with Zondo and Zondo explained the predicament. Nobody wanted to team with Zondo. The megamind managerial sensation known as Jack Kelly thought a while and concluded that teaming w/ a bright and burning star like Zondo presented a great opportunity for young David Weston, the UE’s newest recruit to prove that he had the star power of Zondo and he had what it takes to be as good as Zondo. Weston reluctantly agreed and that’s what set the stage for the moment Zondo became a household name in Michigan…well at least in Western Michigan.
Going into the match, Zondo and Weston didn’t seem to stand a chance, but Zondo dug down deep. The experts don’t know what happened next, but it was clear that something clicked inside of Zondo on that fateful night in Holland. The horoscopes aligned all the chakras and Pluto shifted 5 degrees in just the right way and the megastar that is THE Amazing Zondo was born.
You see, Zondo knows how to treat the fans. So Zondo came out during his entrance with party favors for the fans, infectious energy, and a criminally hopeful outlook on life. And he dragged his pouting partner David Weston along for the ride. And he’s kind of cool too. When you get to know him. Not so much when he wrestles. As much as they wanted to cheer for Tenshi and Malice, there was something about Zondo that people simply loved. Maybe it was his handsome face or his custom made pants. No one can really guess what an adoring audience is thinking. You just have to feel it. And Holland was feeling the Z man.
Now that Zondo had the love and adoration of the fans on his side, Zondo did not disappoint. He didn’t back down from the Michigan legends. In fact he came fully prepared with a battle plan and supplies. Zondo knew that Tenshi was a frequent abuser of the dreaded Green Mist and people on the mist spit in people’s faces a lot and he didn’t want to be blinded. So he brought pool goggles for both him and his partner! The fans couldn’t believe what they were seeing and laughed in delight. They loved how intelligent Zondo was.
When the Amazing Zondo fought Tenshi & Malice he was like a steel panther leaping into action. Zondo’s blows were so on the mark that Tenshi started choking herself in the ropes in the hopes that she would become unconscious and find reprieve from the onslaught. Weston didn’t do much except cry and get beat up a lot, but it was Zono who won the match. Well came really close to winning the match. Super close. You should have seen it.
In the end Zondo gave it his best effort but he and Weston lost in the most ironic of fashion as Tenshi managed to hit Zondo in the eyes with the Green Mist after all and that caused him to stumble into the mountain of a man known as Malice. And…needless to say, it didn’t end well for the Amazing one. Zondo took the loss along with his partner Weston, but in doing so “a star was born baby.”
On a side note The Amazing Zondo did refer Tenshi to a rehab facility to get her to kick the Green Mist habit. It is a nasty one. They say it kills brain cells and it stains custom made pants. Anyways, Zondo lives to fight another day. His next Amazing appearance will be on June 25 at Iceland Arenas in the luxurious city known as Flint, Michigan. The North Side is to DIE for. But we’ll be in the township where rich people buy fast food and mulch for their gardens.
Submitted by The Amazing Zondo
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